Getting ready for baby number two

I am 31 weeks pregnant, my due date is 5th October and according to my iPhone I have 62 days left to my due date – that sounds organised doesn’t it?  But I am so not organised.  So not ready.  Getting ready for baby number two is what I am SUPPOSED to be doing, but I actually, weirdly don’t really know where to start.  I feel so not ready that today it actually scared me! 

What little time I have when my 2 year old is sleeping is filled with project managing house renovations, trying to work out how to prepare my toddler for the imminent arrival, getting the Christmas 2009 collection for Dandelion Lounge finalised and general anxiety about “hitting reset” and rewinding to where we were two and a bit years ago being responsible for a newborn life.  Add my bestest little guy, H, into that equation and I can’t see how life will add up from October onwards.  Life at Lancaster Mews since H arrived has revolved around him and his routine, so who’s routine is going to be followed when there are two, very different routines, needs and agenda’s?  How the devil do you prepare for and do that?  Answers on a postcard/comment box please! 

So to my getting ready list … OK so I have “the stuff”  – the moses basket, the cot, car seat etc.  I have some experience – I know which way round a nappy goes, that babes cry and eventually I’ll start to understand why and to make sure the frill isn’t tucked in to the inner liner on nappies to help avoid busting nappies (one of my top tips for first time mums that one!).   But this time getting ready isn’t about stuff or just about me and Mr L its about H.  Its a teeny bit about delivery and a lot about making it right and positive for my toddler H.  The latter I really don’t know where to start with.

I know me, H and Mr L all survived labour & delivery.  I know it was a long 36 hours.  I know gas & air doesn’t start to kick in until inhale number 10 so I know to start just before the contraction begins (another top tip!)  I know I couldn’t have loved anyone more than the anaesthetist who gave me my epidural after 28hours and that in the end it was all worth it, but that is about it.  I have successfully blanked everything else from my brain.  I also know that I wrote in my diary on the day I gave birth …*Remember c-section planned next time* – I left myself a message – surely I did this for a reason?! 

DSC02419

First time round Mr L and I spent 2 hours a week for 9 weeks attending NCT classes, learning all about the choices and options.  As yet I have yet to pick up a pregnancy book.  I have loads and they are all still in the loft – first time around I knew exactly the size of my foetus, embryo, baby throughout my 40 weeks in relation to various, generally edible items, from coffee beans, to plums, to apples to grapefruit etc.  This time I have to check my iPhone between nursery runs, toddler classes, play dates, phone calls, work, home and the odd occasional splash of a social life!

Last time labour started and I went to hospital around 1am, we can’t just go to hospital with a toddler in the house!  I really don’t  want to be seen by, or subject my parents to, having to see me in labour.  So I am hoping that I will go into labour on either a Monday, Tuesday or Thursday morning between (9am & 1pm) while H is at nursery.  That way Mr L can simply call the Grandparents to pick him up, we simply shimmy off to the hospital when we’re ready, welcome baby number two and return home with new babe in arms to little H who’s had a fabulous day and possibly overnight sleepover with his Grandparents.  Is that a plan?  No it clearly isn’t but that is all I’ve got right now, so if you’re listening to me reviewing this post out loud baby number two – Monday, Tuesday or Thursday morning work for us, and that includes you – OK?  Please?  OMG I am begging my unborn child to do things, next I’ll be attempting bribery with colostrum, the power has already shifted, she already holds all the cards!

Whilst pregnant in 2007 I turned my office into H’s nursery which is to be “baby number two’s” nursery – choose baby name is on the to do list!  Now H is being promoted to what was, until a few weeks ago, our guest room and I am just putting the finishing touches to his big boys bedroom with his own “big bed”!  I plan to move him from nursery to bedroom and from cot to bed hopefully next week (blackout blinds & John Lewis permitting!)   Also at 27 months want to tackle potty training, that may afford me a few nappy free weeks before I return to 12 a day – but wondering if I have left it too close to a new sibling arriving?  Had planned to start on Thursday but now H has come down with a virus & it feels unfair to try to start if he’s under the weather, sigh!  Definitely one that needs more thought! 

Well you know what I feel better just having blogged this out, I’m sure all these things will happen, in their own time and if they don’t they don’t … but deep down, well not that deep at all really, I am a planner and I would them all to be done, quickly, easily and preferably by now! 

Anyway I am signing off for another restless, uncomfortable, dare I say it “bumpy” night ahead!  More to come on the ever evolving “to do”, “to get”, “to order” lists I create as I count down the … 62, nearly 61 days to baby number two … all advice, warnings, tales & recommendations received with mucho thanks!

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16 Comments

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16 responses to “Getting ready for baby number two

  1. Sarah

    Hi Claire, great blog!!!

    Perhaps you are just ‘so ready’ for the arrival that there’s no need to worry about what you ‘haven’t done’.

    Main thing is nappies and babygrows – everything else can be ordered from John Lewis and you get your friend Sarah (Personal Shopper this week 🙂 to go and get it all.

    H will be fine – you will be knackered and Mr L will be ?????? whatever he will be!

    Just to rub salt in the wounds – sorry to all those ladies that have endured the worst pain EVER during labour. I didn’t even know what the little griping twitch in my tummy was….it turned out that they were contractions. Got to the hospital with 30 mins to spare – and ‘shelling peas’ is an accurate description of baby J’s arrival (she hides behind the settee whilst everybody throws things at her). I was bathed and walking round to the mat ward just 20 mins after his birth. What is all the fuss about 😉 ????

    Now, as you can imagine, everybody tells me I’m a natural and questions why I’ve stopped at 1 child. Simple…… luck runs out, you don’t hear of people winning the jackpot twice ….. yup – quit whilst ahead I believe in this case.

    Keep us up to date with progress…..I know a REALLY good Project Manager if you need one 😉

    S

    • Thanks Sarah for swinging by my blog, your comment and kind words! I will let you know if I need to take you up on the personal shopper offer & hoping for a labour just like yours! Come back again soon! Cx

  2. A lovely blog Claire, and one I will have at the back of my mind as and when my No2 is on the way. You are saying that you are not ready for baby girl coming, but when are we ever ready for babies? I remember when I was pregnant with my girl, by week 26 I had already done all the shopping, arranged the nursery, read tons of books on parenting and when she finally arrived, she weaked so much havoc in our lives that we didn’t know what had hit us.
    So I think this is a part of motherhood which stays the same no matter how much experience we gain – we always worry and ask questions, and run around with ‘to do’ lists. At the end, when the bundle of joy arrives, we realise how unprepared we have been all along – and get on with it nevertheless, because this is what mums do!

    I really loved this blog, Claire if you have a minute pls share it with our mums on Mums like you

    Tks, Ivet

  3. That sounds so familiar! My number 2 is due next week and my number 1 is still only 15 months old, so I’m a bit nervous about how I’ll cope. Compared to last time it feels like I’ve done virtually no preparation for this baby, but having done it all before in the last year or so, I know I’m MUCH better prepared than I was last time :0)

    I can really relate to that feeling of “I don’t have time to give birth, I’ve got a toddler to look after!”

    Good luck, I’m sure we’ll both be fine!

    • I am flattered you found time to check out my post with a 15 month old & no doubt a heavy bump I take my hat off to you Helen for making it to the PC! Lovely to know I will not be alone in this journey. Sending you lots of well wishes for a safe arrival … if you can fit it in of course! Cx

  4. It will be OK.

    Sounds like you will have a similar age gap to my two who are 2.5years apart. Luckily I didn’t have to work out going into hospital as my son was born at home, but I did have my sister around to look after my daughter in case she woke in the night (was planning night and it worked so your morning plan may too!) or in case I needed to transfer in to hospital.

    Like you first time round I did the NCT classes, spent far too long on baby forums, the works! Second time I don’t think I really though about it much at all – too busy with a toddler. But in the end instincts kicked in and all was fine. T loved being a big sister and helping with everything and having two was almost easier than having just one – certainly not the life changing experience your first is!

    • Pretty much the same age gap as yourself Emma, 2.5 years apart, lovely to hear that T loved being a big sister, I am so hoping that H adores being a big brother too. You’re very right about the major life change having already taken place and I hadn’t thought of it like that, thank you! Come back soon and help me with the double buggy debate – post coming soon! Many thanks, Cx

  5. Hi Claire, On the home run for babe no.3 (4 weeks to go) and very disorganised. Bag not packed, room not ready, names not chosen and caught in the midsts of school hols so trying to balance my own naps with two kids who have way more energy than I have! Swimming this morning – too hectic for words and had to come back and sleep!

    I’ll echo what everyone else says, you will be fine. The challenges are different but on balance I thought easier. Have you looked into hypnobirthing – am an absolute convert so once you get over the fact that it could be considered a little ‘out there’ or hippy then it is well worth trying, infinitely better than NCT classes. Have learnt lots of deep relaxation, am not scared (infact no longer get panic attacks) and am sleeping through the night – blissful. Willing to give anything a try.

    Brill blog by the way!

    Wendy
    http://www.totstotravel.co.uk
    Twitter:totstotravelmum
    Blog: http://totstotravelblog.typepad.com/

    • Dear Wendy,
      Thanks so much for your time to read my post and your kind words. I have actually thought about Hypnobirthing and um and ah about it, I was put off by a couple of like you say quite way out there tales where it seemed to turn labour into a pleasure! I will revisit considering on your advice. Many thanks, Cx

  6. Lovely post. I found having baby number two so much easier, I had a traumatic 1st birth but number two almost just popped out so try and be positive, you never know what will happen this time!
    I found looking after number 2 so much easier and she just slipped into our routine with a few feeds in odd places such as car parks and nurseries! You are much more relaxed and experienced the second time around. If you go with the flow and don’t make too much fuss your son will soon grow to love his new baby brother or sister.

  7. insomniacmummy

    Hey Claire,

    I can totally relate to your post. I became asecond time mum 11 weeks ago. So nowI have a lovely little lady and a boisterous 2 year old boy.

    I found my second preganacy so much less indulgent than my first. You just don’t have time to sit around LOL!

    When baby comes you will fall into a routine. We have. It’s always busy busy busy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

    Oh and on a side note, I always joked after having a rough time the first time round the the second time I wanted a 2 hour labour, gas and air, 2 pushes and out she’d pop. Sometimes wishes do come true, I guess Little E was paying attention!

    I look forward to reading more!

    x

  8. Brilliant post Claire. I can only echo what the others have said. My first labour was traumatic and my second (363 days later!) was lovely by comparison.
    You are so much more relaxed with the second baby and they will fit in with your routine. Don’t try to do too much too soon and accept all help offered. I had my mum here for a month and I let her hold the baby while I got on with the housework and looking after the toddler. This was not good for me or the baby. This is a case of do as I say, not as I do!
    Good luck. x

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